by Ham

UPDATE: Please check out my new review of UFO Abduction (which features comments by the show's creator, Dean Alioto), which was the predecessor to Alien Abduction.

Alien Abduction - Incident In Lake County aired on UPN in 1998, and shows home video footage of the McPherson family being abducted by aliens while they are gathered for Thanksgiving dinner. So, yes, the title is appropriate. Also shown throughout the program are the opinions of several different experts, which include a sheriff, a TV reporter, a former government agent, a skeptic (who was the publisher of "Skeptic Magazine" and author of "Why People Believe Weird Things"), a hypnotherapist, a video effects editor, a UFO investigator, former UFO abductees, a child psychologist, and Stanton Friedman (whose non-specific comments lead me to believe that he was never shown this program). Phew! That's a lot of experts. There's almost as many experts as there are members of the McPherson family. Let's meet them now, shall we?

That picture reminds me of The Brady Bunch. "Here's the story... of a crazy family. Who was living in a very crazy house. All of them were... abducted by aliens. And none of them were ever heard from since." (I know, that last line didn't rhyme... leave a comment with some suggestions if you'd like) Anyway, I know you're just waiting patiently for the introductions so here they are: On top left we have the drunken mother, Roslyn McPherson (53). Next to her we have her shotgun-lovin', truck-drivin' son Kurt McPherson (28). Next to Kurt is his hysterical sister Linda (25). In the "Peter Brady spot" in the second row we have Brian McPherson (21). Next to him is his weenie of a brother, and cameraman for this event, Tommy (16). Next to him is Brian's girlfriend (I think), Renee Laurent (20). On the bottom left is the disappearing Matthew Wilson (30), who is next to his girlfriend (I think) Melanie McPherson (26). Of course, on the bottom right we have the star of the show, the bug-eyed annoyance called Rosie McPherson (5).

The home video footage starts with the McPherson family getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. Tommy gets his video camera out and starts annoying everyone. Suddenly, the power goes out! No worries. The McPherson boys will take care of it. Kurt, Brian and Tommy (with camera, of course) go outside to check the fuse box. Mom grabs a drink.

They discover that the fuse box is "fried" and has a bunch of goo (that will make it's appearance later in the program) all over itself. While the boys are checking the fuse box, they are startled by a loud bang and a flash of light. They make their way closer to the source of the noise to investigate. They spot a transformer on a telephone poll exploding in a shower of sparks. They then spot a large, Unidentified Stationary Object (USO). One of them (probably Tommy), brilliantly asks, "Is it the power company?".

They quickly realize that it's not the power company when they spot two aliens slicing open a cow with a red laser. That's one thing I like about this show, it didn't waste any time getting to the good stuff.

Oh snap! The aliens spot the McPherson boys and shoot their laser at them, hitting Brian in the hand.

They all run quickly back into the house, where things go all sorts of crazy. There is a loud ringing noise and things start exploding all about the house. Kurt gets his trusty shotgun, wraps a flashlight around the barrel, and heads toward his truck. Tommy Tag-A-Long follows him with his camera. On their way to the truck, Tommy notes that he has peed his pants. For what I believe must be some comic relief, Tommy points the camera down to show proof of his accident.

Kurt and Tommy then make their way to the truck only to find that it is also "fried". Kurt opens the hood to find some more of the aforementioned goo on the engine.

They both go back inside and tell the family what happened (except for Tommy's "accident", although I don't know how he covered that spot all night). The family then hears a noise on the roof, and Tommy runs outside to try and see what happened. He only catches a glimpse of an alien crawling in the window.

Tommy runs back inside and tells the others of his discovery. Mom grabs a drink. Kurt, shotgun in hand, runs upstairs and is followed by you-know-who. He spots the infamous red laser pointing through a door and he shoots at the door, apparently killing an alien.

Immediately after the gun shot, the camera turns around and we (the viewer) are frightened by little Rosie McPherson telling everyone, "Let's go downstairs now.".

Notice that Rosie has two spotlights shining on her. One is from the video camera, and one is attached to Kurt's gun. Which means that Kurt has his gun pointed at Rosie in this picture. I don't know, I just thought I'd point that out.

This is the first of several times that little Rosie tries to calm everyone down amid all of the chaos. One could speculate that because of this, and her enormous eyes in the "Brady Bunch" picture, that Rosie may be a half-alien child. Ahh, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Tommy's video tape then cuts to static and returns showing all of the family members having nosebleeds. This look on Brian's face says, "What? Huh? My nose is bleeding?".

Some of the experts then speculate that this family has already been abducted and that their nosebleeds may be the result of implants that are reacting to the presence of the aliens.

A flashing ball of light then makes its way through the house. Kurt, of course, tries to aim his shotgun at it. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, that Kurt.

The ball of light finally finds a target and hits Renee Laurent, knocking her unconscious.

Kurt, Brian and Matthew Wilson start to leave, armed with shotguns. After watching the tape carefully, I noticed that while all three of them headed for the door, only Kurt and Brian actually left. Matthew closes the door behind them and stays inside. Strangely enough, he is never seen again on Tommy's tape.

The camera then goes out for an hour and ten minutes. When it comes back on, we hear gunshots and see light flashes outside. The power then continually goes on and off. Mom grabs a drink. Once again, little Rosie is the only calm one in the house and tries to settle everyone else down. One of the experts thinks she looks "almost possessed". The family then notices scars on the back of their necks that burn and itch uncontrollably.

Hmmm, implants?

Rosie tells them to stop worrying, that "it'll stop burning in a minute". And, wouldn't you know, it actually does stop burning almost as fast as it started. The appliances in the house then start randomly turning themselves on, making everyone run around like ninnies and Mom grab a drink. Linda starts going more crazy than the others, and runs outside looking for her brothers. The rest of the family follows her. They find Kurt's gun "fried", with some goo on its end.

Interesting how this gun was placed neatly on the porch, leaning against the railing. They found another gun ripped in half on the front seat of the truck.

Linda starts going even more batsh*t crazy than she was before. Rosie is urgently trying to calm her down and get them all inside the house. They then spot some more aliens coming toward them from the wooded area and run into the house. The appliances again start turning themselves on and off. Mom yells at Tommy to "put the camera down" (although she can't be bothered to put her red beverage down). Tommy puts the camera down on the bathroom sink. The camera goes out.

When the camera goes back on, Tommy is sitting on the toilet (hopefully seat down, or both sides of his pants will be soaked) telling the camera that his family has been attacked by aliens. This is a very Blair Witch Project-type scene but, remember, this was filmed before that movie was released. So, Tommy is definitely not doing his impression of the close-up snotty-nosed scene.

I enjoy the shower curtain. Lovely pattern.

The camera then cuts to Tommy entering his bedroom. He turns around to discover that he was followed in by an alien.

The alien then slowly walks closer to Tommy, so we can only see the top of his bulbous head.

In the very last shot of the footage, the alien was nice enough to grab the camera and turn it around to show Tommy, completely frozen in place.

One of the experts says that these must not be the usual "clever, elusive aliens" that humans usually encounter. I think perhaps that they knew exactly what they were doing, and wanted to be the star of their very own UPN television program.

(Posted 10/2007)